Post by canuslupusarctos on May 20, 2007 15:10:32 GMT -3
Chapter Three
Wolves may feature in our myths, our history and our dreams, but they have their own future, their own loves, their own dreams to fulfill.
I read that in a book somewhere. By Anthony Miles, I think. A muggle.
Startlingly, he had portrayed us perfectly. As I've said, the wolf is always lurking beneath the surface, like a shark beneath the water on a placid lake. It has it's own ideas.
In all the muggle books that I read a long time ago, wolves were revered with this special kind of mystical awe. In Native American myth, the wolf is always portrayed as a Great Teacher, and a spiritual guide. Well, no offense to them, but this wolf has taught me many things about myself. Most of these lessons were ones I could have lived without learning.
They are different than us in so many ways, but yet we're both forced to survive in this small body. It wants release from this prison, and I want release from it.
Yet, I know what the wolf feels like. I know what it's like to live inside a prison that isn't agreeable with your wants and needs.
For all the complaining I do about this thing that I am, I cannot isolate it. I cannot push it away, even though I despise it with nearly every fiber of my being. I have to embrace it. It's just another lonely soul like me, trapped and alone, without any possible hope of freedom.
That's my humanity. Kind of ironic, don't you think? My humanity rests in compassion for the very thing that stole it away.
It's hopeless, I know, to sit around and think like this. The only argument I can make in my defense is that I haven't been sitting anywhere and thinking like this. I've been walking around being bored and thinking about this.
I've no room to be bored, either. There are millions of little things that have to be done around here, but I just can't bring myself to do them. No use. Just no use.
As for their own dreams... Well, the only thing I've dreamt about in a year is running or attacking people. I don't know whether he meant that in a litteral sense or a spiritual one. Either way, it's still absolutely crazy. Needless to say, the running dream is the only one this wolf inside me will ever fulfill.
I don't pretend to hold any control over any situation that has to do with my wolf, because I don't. But, just as I have a primal conscience, my wolf has a half-way human conscience. I think that it recognizes that humans have never hurt it. At any rate, that's better than all the other people in this place. Sometimes I wonder if they have any humanity left at all.
Then, the moon rolls around again, and I know that they don't have any humanity.
I wake up to the sounds of movement from the ward. I can tell that my charges are awake because they are speaking in whispers.
This is new. Most of the time, I wake up to things smashing around in there. Sighing, I roll out of bed and make for the door.
They are standing at the far end of the room huddled together, so absorbed by their whispered coversation that they neither hear nor see me approach.
I clear my throat when I get as close as I dare (It's an old Healer habit... I learned a while back that it's best to keep your distance, even if an attack is not forthcoming). They whirl around like I shocked them or something.
"Ah, I see you're awake," I say, crossing my arms in front of me.
One of the women had dark hair and green eyes. She is standing to the left of the man, and it is she who speaks first. "Who are you?"
I scowl. "Well, no need to be ungreatful. I'm the healer here."
"Where is 'here' exactly?" The other woman, this time with blonde hair and brown eyes, speaks up.
"Well," I say, and start to go about my morning duties, "I don't exactly know. You are at the Den. The exact location, as far as country, is something that was never brought to my attention."
"Really?" The man asks interestedly.
"You don't really expect him to tell us, do you?" I say, shrugging in the direction in the door. "Makes for a better escape plan if we know where we are."
"Who is 'he'?"
"Fenrir Greyback. Who else? He is the Alpha here. We must obey him."
I think I see the man flinch visibly at the name. I probably would do the same. But yet again, I never had a chance to know what I'd have done.
"We'll get to that later. We musn't be rude, you know. They can't take our pleasantries away." I hold out my hand in their general direction. "Lisa Taylor."
The dark haired woman eyes my hand bayfully. I would say that I don't bite, but I don't think that would be appropriate given the whole "I'm-sorry-you've-been-captured-by-werewolves" thing.
Finally, she steps forward and shakes my hand carefully. "Jennifer Hughes."
Jennifer exchanges a look with the blonde woman, and she steps forward next. "Michelle Edwards."
I smile at her reasurringly, before looking at the man. He shakes his longish brown hair out of his eyes and takes my hand. "Remus Lupin."
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A/N: There. You've been curious, and since I haven't updated in so long I decided not to drag it out any longer. Don't worry about the other two OC people... They're only assets, and they won't really play major roles.
I had forgotten that I was writing in present tense when I wrote this and I wrote it in past. Gah.
Anyway, happy R&R-ing.
Wolves may feature in our myths, our history and our dreams, but they have their own future, their own loves, their own dreams to fulfill.
I read that in a book somewhere. By Anthony Miles, I think. A muggle.
Startlingly, he had portrayed us perfectly. As I've said, the wolf is always lurking beneath the surface, like a shark beneath the water on a placid lake. It has it's own ideas.
In all the muggle books that I read a long time ago, wolves were revered with this special kind of mystical awe. In Native American myth, the wolf is always portrayed as a Great Teacher, and a spiritual guide. Well, no offense to them, but this wolf has taught me many things about myself. Most of these lessons were ones I could have lived without learning.
They are different than us in so many ways, but yet we're both forced to survive in this small body. It wants release from this prison, and I want release from it.
Yet, I know what the wolf feels like. I know what it's like to live inside a prison that isn't agreeable with your wants and needs.
For all the complaining I do about this thing that I am, I cannot isolate it. I cannot push it away, even though I despise it with nearly every fiber of my being. I have to embrace it. It's just another lonely soul like me, trapped and alone, without any possible hope of freedom.
That's my humanity. Kind of ironic, don't you think? My humanity rests in compassion for the very thing that stole it away.
It's hopeless, I know, to sit around and think like this. The only argument I can make in my defense is that I haven't been sitting anywhere and thinking like this. I've been walking around being bored and thinking about this.
I've no room to be bored, either. There are millions of little things that have to be done around here, but I just can't bring myself to do them. No use. Just no use.
As for their own dreams... Well, the only thing I've dreamt about in a year is running or attacking people. I don't know whether he meant that in a litteral sense or a spiritual one. Either way, it's still absolutely crazy. Needless to say, the running dream is the only one this wolf inside me will ever fulfill.
I don't pretend to hold any control over any situation that has to do with my wolf, because I don't. But, just as I have a primal conscience, my wolf has a half-way human conscience. I think that it recognizes that humans have never hurt it. At any rate, that's better than all the other people in this place. Sometimes I wonder if they have any humanity left at all.
Then, the moon rolls around again, and I know that they don't have any humanity.
I wake up to the sounds of movement from the ward. I can tell that my charges are awake because they are speaking in whispers.
This is new. Most of the time, I wake up to things smashing around in there. Sighing, I roll out of bed and make for the door.
They are standing at the far end of the room huddled together, so absorbed by their whispered coversation that they neither hear nor see me approach.
I clear my throat when I get as close as I dare (It's an old Healer habit... I learned a while back that it's best to keep your distance, even if an attack is not forthcoming). They whirl around like I shocked them or something.
"Ah, I see you're awake," I say, crossing my arms in front of me.
One of the women had dark hair and green eyes. She is standing to the left of the man, and it is she who speaks first. "Who are you?"
I scowl. "Well, no need to be ungreatful. I'm the healer here."
"Where is 'here' exactly?" The other woman, this time with blonde hair and brown eyes, speaks up.
"Well," I say, and start to go about my morning duties, "I don't exactly know. You are at the Den. The exact location, as far as country, is something that was never brought to my attention."
"Really?" The man asks interestedly.
"You don't really expect him to tell us, do you?" I say, shrugging in the direction in the door. "Makes for a better escape plan if we know where we are."
"Who is 'he'?"
"Fenrir Greyback. Who else? He is the Alpha here. We must obey him."
I think I see the man flinch visibly at the name. I probably would do the same. But yet again, I never had a chance to know what I'd have done.
"We'll get to that later. We musn't be rude, you know. They can't take our pleasantries away." I hold out my hand in their general direction. "Lisa Taylor."
The dark haired woman eyes my hand bayfully. I would say that I don't bite, but I don't think that would be appropriate given the whole "I'm-sorry-you've-been-captured-by-werewolves" thing.
Finally, she steps forward and shakes my hand carefully. "Jennifer Hughes."
Jennifer exchanges a look with the blonde woman, and she steps forward next. "Michelle Edwards."
I smile at her reasurringly, before looking at the man. He shakes his longish brown hair out of his eyes and takes my hand. "Remus Lupin."
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A/N: There. You've been curious, and since I haven't updated in so long I decided not to drag it out any longer. Don't worry about the other two OC people... They're only assets, and they won't really play major roles.
I had forgotten that I was writing in present tense when I wrote this and I wrote it in past. Gah.
Anyway, happy R&R-ing.